Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Hey, it's been awhile...

Since being on academic hiatus...

Life! It's SOOO busy...

Ok, I don't really know how to pick up blogging again. It's not something I was wild about doing. I keep a journal and I have certain romantic notions about putting pen to a page. Like one day, my greatgreatgreat grandkids will say, "she actually touched this page." I guess I could save my keyboard, too. Anyway, blogging started to become a chore, really. Another "to do" on my lllooonnnggg list of "to do's" and as you'll soon learn, I needed to trim down my life. I don't know if I should back-track to LAST AUGUST and try to remember all the things we have done over the last year and THEN try to come up with clever captions for all my pictures and THEN try to journal what each of the cleverly captioned pictures are all about. So, I will figure that out later. For now, I want to focus on moving forward. Call it my Tuesday Resolution.

Last year, was one of the hardest in my life. It was deeply, emotionally, hard. Which, for me, is something a lot bigger and a lot harder to cope with. It was, in a word, humbling. That humiliating type of humbling that comes from getting what you deserve, and then trying to pick up the pieces after everything seems like it shattered. It was more than "biting off more than you can chew," it was denying that I am a human-being that has limitations and what's even worse, it was denying that my husband and my children are also human-beings with limitations. Needless to say, I was forced to my knees. And like I said, I deserved it. But I also needed it.

Some of you may be surprised to read that last year was such a toughie. I'm the type of girl that sort of keepseverythinginuntilitallboilsoverandhasameltdownoverpizzaatIHRSA, (lucky for me I have family that forgives Madi, Joey, Page, Lisa...), but as I have come to know what I've got, and what I'm not, and who I am (Thanks, Jason Mraz), I've also learned that I really, really want is to be more honest. I want to be more vulnerable. I also want to be happy. To have peace. To reconcile myself to who I was and who I am and create someone even better. To do these things, is to accept that I am not perfect, and I am not supposed to be. There is only one person who is, and I'm trying to get to know Him better. So, here's to Tuesday resolutions, growing older and wiser (you know you are, Kalie), and letting myself change.

MR


3 comments:

Emily said...

You are back! Remember how my blog caused you anxiety cause I hadn't changed it in a few months? Every time I checked your blog that's what I thought about. I'm so glad you are back. I'd comment on every post but the iPad is a pain! I love you and am excited to read your thoughts and updates. Thank you for being inspiring! Love you

Richelle said...

That's what life is about I think. Thanks for sharing your talent of writing... and sending all of us a reminder of what is important. Hope we can remember :)

Love you.

marciea casselman said...

Welcome back! So fun to hear about your cute family and the neat things you have done this year. And yes, there comes a time in everyone's life when we have to decide who we are and who we want to be.