A small confession: I don't read parenting books.
It is *not* because I presume to know everything about parenting. It is *not* because I feel like I have a handle on this whole "mom" thing. It is *not* because I don't stay up at night worrying, fretting, hoping, crying, and praying that my children are not developing as they should. It is *not* because I haven't had those terribly depressing moments where I think I am somehow not doing enough for these little boys.
I fret, I worry, I cry, I pray.
The reason I chose to stop worrying about parenting books is because awhile back, in the midst of one of those terribly depressing moments, I heard some advice from Elder M. Russell Ballard of the LDS church:
"To parents everywhere, my counsel is simple: Get a copy of 'The Family: A Proclamation to the World.' Read it and strive to align your marriage and your family to its inspired, revealed direction from the Lord. Then be the very best and act the very best you can. God will give you strength beyond your own as you strive daily to fulfill the most sacred mortal responsibility He gives to His children. Listen to the voice of the Spirit and the counsel of the living prophets. Be of good cheer. God did not place you on earth to fail, and your efforts as parents will not be counted as failure unless you give up."
I feel like this advice is the best out there for young mothers.
Not that you shouldn't arm yourself with tools to overcome difficult situations. I love finding new advice on how to handle different situations. It is helpful to read information on problems I can't seem to overcome. It is relieving to discuss parenting with fellow women and know that they have the same problems I do. Even after reading all of the best parenting books.
So, I chose (am choosing) to put my worries aside as best I can. If my children don't speak three languages by pre-school, I guess I can deal with that. If my boys can't walk and talk as well as other children their age, I could deal with that as well. If it turns out, their learning progression turns out to be a long-term problem, I can deal with that as well. What I *can't* deal with, is knowing I failed to do what the Lord has asked me to in taking care of his precious children.
For me, this is the *BEST* advice because it comes from the *BEST* parent, a loving Father in Heaven.
To read the entire talk, go here: www.lds.org/liahona/2006/03/the-sacred-responsibilities-of-parenthood?lang=eng&auery-ballard+role+parent
4 comments:
Good advice! I need to remember that more often. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the mundane of life, or what our kids are or aren't doing compared to their peers. It's almost useless to worry about all that stuff. The real question we should be asking ourselves is are we doing everything to prepare them spiritually for the battle that is life? I've also noticed if one puts that first anyway, the rest of that stuff falls into place anyway. Thanks for reminding me of that today! I needed it...
With Daniel I was so caught up in the milestones recommended by those books and I too was overly stressed about it. I remember being so worried because he couldn't stack 3 blocks. David and would practice and practice with him but he couldn't do it. I realized that it really didn't matter. I haven't even looked at a single book with Maggie. I agree its more important to focus on the spiritual aspect of their growth. The twins are perfect and they will be fine. They have the best mom for them, Heavenly Father knows that and so do I. You are amazing and I still can't believe that you actually have twins. I love you and I miss seeing you weekly and I miss those cute little babies.
That was wonderful, just what I needed. I haven't read those books in awhile either after feeling discouraged and worried. I think you expressed what matters most perfectly. Thanks for sharing!
Megan, thank you. I so needed to hear that today. I don't know why your blog isn't updating on my blog roll, but I just read thru your most recent posts. So, let me say YES, your bro DOES look like Bieber, and I am very, very jealous that you heard bell hooks in person. WOW!
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